Dealing with the Scar of Falling Out with a Friend


An end of a friendship, for whatever reason, is never easy. You get along splendidly with someone for a long time then suddenly something irreparable happens that results to the end of a friendship. It usually takes time to heal the emotional wounds it may cause. And sometimes, it may even leave an invisible scar that may be hard for others and even yourself to detect. Dealing with difficult emotions may not be easy, but here are some of the things you can do to help you in the process.

Start with forgiveness. This may be easier said than done. But forgiving yourself or the other person for whatever role each of you has played that led to the end of a friendship is therapeutic. Find constructive ways to express and unload negative feelings. Write on your journal, talk with another trusted friend, or take advantage of a quiet moment to reflect on what happened. Remind yourself that forgiveness is one of the easiest paths to self-healing.

Let it go. Like forgiving, letting go is equally hard to do for most people. While it may not instantly provide the healing you need, accepting that things happen for a reason can help you take the first step towards getting past the hurt of falling out with a friend.

Stop the blame. Avoid beating yourself up because of the falling out. Stop blaming yourself or the other person for whatever reason. The best thing you can do is to be kind to yourself and focus on taking care of yourself so you could get past all the negative feelings you may currently have. Give the same compassion on yourself that you would give to other people in similar situations. Spend time doing uplifting activities instead of wallowing with the negative thoughts surrounding the fallout.

Reflect on the lessons. Use what happened as an opportunity to learn whatever lesson you can get from it. Learn from the experience and use the knowledge wisely to nurture your other friendships. While the loss of a valued friendship is one of the saddest events in anyone’s life, take heart in knowing that you still have an opportunity to build and strengthen other friendships you have.

Connect with others. A falling out with a friend can be devastating. The experience may even trigger a depression if not managed properly. You have to decide to move on with your life even if it is the last thing on your mind. Take the time to socialize and meet new people. Finding new friends will not replace the one you lost, but it could give you the chance to gain more than you can nurture over time.